The Secret Past of Raven
by DarkNightangale
Summary: Ever wonder why Raven is so reclusive? I thought it would be interesting to write this because I’ve often wondered. And, Raven is my favorite Teen Titan. And there will be some romance later on if you want. PG for brief language
1. Prolouge

The Secret Past of Raven

By iluvgwtw

Ever wonder why Raven is so reclusive? Well, this fanfic explains why. I thought it would be interesting to write this because I've often wondered. And, Raven is my favorite Teen Titan so....yeah! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you think I own Teen Titans, then you need to go to a shrink. In case you don't understand this: I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS!!!!!!!!

A woman runs down the street, clutching a small bundle close to her chest. She quickly dodges into an apartment building and races up the stairs. She hurries down the hallway, jiggles with the lock on a door, and steps inside, closing and bolting the door behind her. The small bundle starts to move and make small crying noises.

Woman: pulls bundle away Hush. Don't cry now. There's nothing to worry about.

Although the woman says this, she seems to not believe her own words as she looks cautiously at the door and hurries to the furthest most point of the one bedroom apartment. She squeezes herself into a closet and holds her breath, trying to hush the baby. The doorknob of the front door jiggles, and then suddenly there are poundings on the door. The woman squeezes her eyes shut as hot tears roll down her cheeks. The baby starts to whimper and the woman shushes her.

Woman: Baby, you have to be quiet. Although there isn't any hope left anymore. Bangs are heard My darling, my Rachel, don't cry. I'll always be with you. I'll always be in your heart. Don't worry my darling girl.

She places the baby behind some clothes that are hanging, and makes her way, back out to the door.

She stands there and opens the door slowly, revealing two men standing there. They each have guns in their hands. She bows her head in sorrow as she hears a gunshot and feels pain. She falls onto the hard wood floor and everything goes black. The only thing she hears, is her baby, her darling Rachel, crying from the closet.

Well, this is just the prologue, but I hope you guys like it. Tell me what you think, give me advice, the usual stuff.....yeah! So, yeah! Bye!


	2. Dreams

The Secret Past of Raven

By iluvgwtw

First off, I'd like to thank azarathian6000 for reviewing! Thanks so much, I'll be sure to pay your medical bill, but here is your chapter. It's as long as I could make it without giving away the whole thing. So, yeah. I promise I'll update as fast as I possibly can, but I do need to do homework first, so some nights I won't be able to write anything. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, I would be sitting in a huge mansion surrounded by servants and everything to do all my biddings—wait.........that's sounds like a good idea! Well, folks I'm off to buy Teen Titans! Wish me luck!

Chapter 1—Dreams

Raven startled awake. She was covered in sweat and the pillow was damp. She had been crying out in her sleep too. She sighed. Why was this happening to her? Why was she being plagued by these dreams? She had never known her mother, yet she was able to see her clearly in these dreams. What was this all about? There had to be a reason for these. She heard a knock on her door.

Starfire: Raven? Are you all right? You were making noises in your sleep........so I came to see how you were doing.

Raven opens the door.

Raven: Yes Starfire, I'm fine.

Starfire: Are you su—

Raven: Yes! Star. I'm fine, just fine!

Starfire: Well, okay. If you're su—

Raven: YES! I need to meditate now.

Starfire nods and walks back to her room. Raven picks up her mind mirror (as seen in episode 6, Nevermore, where Cyborg and Beast Boy go through the mirror into Raven's mind.....yeah) and pours the dream in there.

Raven: That's all that seems to be going in there now, is dreams.

She takes a deep breath and concentrates and levitates, murmuring to herself.

Raven: (if this isn't the right spelling and you know it, please tell me! I couldn't find the correct spelling on line! I'm sorry for this inconvenience) Azarath, Metrione, Zinthose...Azarath, Metrione, Zinthose.........Azarath—

Another knock comes at the door.

Robin: Um...Raven? You were talking in your sleep and I was wondering—

Raven: I'M JUST FINE!!!!!!!!! WOULD EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! AGH!

Raven accidentally blows up the door. Robin's expression you ask? Why it looked like this: OO

Raven: Sorry. I—I—it, um, I need to meditate. Desperately. I'd just—like to be alone for a while.

Robin: Right, I'll be sure to tell everyone else too. You sure you're all right?

Raven: (looks at Robin) Honestly? I don't know. (Uses her powers to put the door back up)

Robin: Oo riiiiiight..................

Robin walks out to the front room where Star, Cyborg, and Beast Boy are sitting on the couch watching TV.

Robin: Anyone else notice that Raven has been really moody lately?

Star: She told me she was fine. She seemed the same old Raven to me.

Cyborg: Well...I haven't really talked to her, should I try?

Robin: No, I wouldn't. She blew the door up...............

Cyborg: OO Well.........(coughs) I think I'll stay here then.........

Beast Boy: She probably is just being her old grumpy self! What's so special about this time?

Robin: Dude, she BLEW up the DOOR!!!!!

Beast Boy: So, she does it to me all the time. Actually, it's usually so I go flying, but it still happens.

Cyborg: Dude, that's just 'cuz she hates you.

Beast Boy: Well, exCUSE ME!

Star: Bless you.

BB: Um, Star? I didn't sneeze...

Star: Um...well then: You're welcome!

BB: (smacks his forehead)

Meanwhile, Raven is still meditating when she gets a vision.

_Man talking to someone: What are we going to do with the kid?_

_Other man: Maybe we just leave it somewhere._

_Man #1: No, how about we just give it to the boss._

_Man #2: You think he'll take it?_

_Man #1: Who knows? We just need to get rid of it!_

_Man #2: Why don't we just leave it here?_

_Man #1: Fine. Let's leave it._

_A baby starts to cry._

_Man #2: Would it just shut up? Why don't we just—_

Knock at the door.

Cyborg: Raven?

Raven: (opens the door) Yes, Cybor—AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(clamps hand over mouth, her eyes go wide)

Cyborg: OO Raven? Uh...are you okay?

Raven: I—I—HAHA! Just need to—HAHAHA! Be alone! (Slams door shut)

Raven goes over to her mirror. She picks it up and looks inside it. Thinking: Why am I laughing? I never laugh! Suddenly, a face appears in the mirror, it's a woman, and she smiles. To Raven's horror, she gets sucked into the mirror.

Raven: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ROBIN! STAR! BB! CY! HELP!!!!!!!

Star hears something, and turns to Robin.

Star: I think I just heard Raven scream.

BB: (playing a video game with Cyborg) Oh, she's just being moody and grumpy, let's leave her alone.

Star: Well, okay, if you say so.........

Raven: (lands in the middle of a long twisting path) Where am I? Who are you? Why did you bring me here? (She tries desperately to go out through a gap that is getting smaller and smaller by the second, until it finally disappears, meanwhile, the mirror drops to the floor of her room) NO!

END CH. 1

Well, there you go! Hope you liked it. Please review. Thanks!


	3. Darkness

The Secret Past of Raven

By iluvgwtw

Well, my attempts of buying Teen Titans didn't work as planned, so I'm still stuck here writing fanfics about it......sigh......oh well. So, to answer some of your questions:

Mysteriousraven: I shall try to fulfill your wish and make it scarier! But that may have to come later......is that ok?

Wild Spirit of Darkness2: Well, I'd actually prefer to use the script format, but I will try to put more description before the lines if that's any difference to you. Sorry, but it's just much easier to write it in script. Um.........I'm thinking of writing one for Starfire, I won't put that one in script if you like. That will be up soon too.

Kim: Thanks! I'm glad you think I'm good! That's what I was hoping for!

Jagurandi: Hmm............where to begin? Oh I know: frommagge! I going to keep forcing you to read you know! Hee hee. Oh, yes, this is Jagurandi she is a friend of mine. She has an account, not on here, but on ficpress,: w ww. fiction press . c o m/ jagurandi. So if you want to read some of hers that's cool too. I have an account as well w w w. fiction press. c o m/ egyptiangoddess

Larissa: thanks! I'll update as often as I can, sometimes I may not be able to, but I make the best of efforts to try.

Terra18: Thanks for the words! I wasn't to far off t least! But yeah, I had found something with the words, but I couldn't remember what the spelling was! Thanks!

Azarathian6000: Here you go! The third chapter!

Chapter 2—Darkness

Raven looked around, she hadn't been inside the mirror since Cyborg and Beast Boy had invaded it. She hadn't wanted to go in, and she wouldn't have, were it not for her loyalty, protectiveness of her mind, and the fact that she wanted to kick their asses for being in her room in the first place. But, the reason she didn't like her mirror was because of all the things she put in there. She put her deepest thoughts into the mirror. Thoughts that could not only harm others, but harm her. the whole mirror was darkness.

Raven saw only one path: the same path she and Cyborg and Beast Boy had gone down. The same path where she met all her other selves. The same path where she had fought what was probably the most dangerous thing in her mind. But now, it was obvious that something else was in the mirror land—something that she hadn't put in. she didn't recognize that face that she had seen before she was sucked into her place. She had no idea who it was who had brought her into this place. Raven hated to admit it, but she was a little bit scared. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. Her emotions would screw her up. She needed to maintain control.

Meanwhile, Starfire was becoming worried about her friend Raven. Usually she emerged to at least get something to eat or drink, or grab a book, or make some sort of unemotional comment about how Cyborg and Beast Boy were constantly fighting. But, she hadn't. Starfire turned to Robin.

Starfire: Robin? I'm worried about our friend Raven.

Robin: Don't worry Star. She just needs time to cool off.

Starfire: But—

Cyborg: Look, if you're that worried, BB and I will go check up on her.

Starfire: Oh! Would you?

Cyborg: Sure!

Beast Boy: We will?

Cyborg: Yes, Beast Boy, we will.

Beast Boy: But I thought—

Cyborg kicks him in the shin

Beast Boy: OO I mean of course we'll go check on her!

Beast Boy and Cyborg get up from their game and go to Raven's room. Cyborg knocks on the door.

Beast Boy: Raven? Raven? Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeevn!

Cyborg: Okay, she's not here, let's go back to the game, I almost won!

Beast Boy: Let's go inside her room and see.

Cyborg: Oh no, remember what happened last time?

Beast Boy: Yeah, but that was different! We promised Star we would check on her.

Cyborg: (sighs) Fine. Let's go in and check on her, but we shouldn't stay too long, in case she's in one of her moods....................................

Beast Boy: Fine. (opens door) Raven?

Cyborg: Okay, she's still not here—

Beast Boy: Look, the mirror is on the floor.

Cyborg: NO! We may have promised Star that we would check on Raven, but we also promised Raven we would never touch her mirror again.

BB: Aw c'mon where's your sense of adventure?

Cyborg: Sitting on the couch waiting for us to get back to the game.

BB: Well, go get. Something tells me, Raven didn't put the mirror on the floor by herself.

Cyborg: OO oh no. oh hell no! You're joking! We are _not_ going into the mirror!!!

BB: C'mon!

Beast Boy picks up the mirror and as Cyborg lunges for it, they both see the face that Raven saw, the black haired woman and they are sucked in.

Raven sat down on the floor and began to levitate: Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Zin—Cyborg and Beast Boy fall into the mirror and the doorway disappeared like before.

Raven: What the hell are you guys doing here! I thought I told you never to come into my room or touch my mirror ever again!

Cyborg: (points to BB) IT'S HIS FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BB: Hey! You came in with me!

Cyborg: Did not!

BB: Did too!

Cyborg: Did not!

BB: Did too!

Cyborg: Did not!

BB: Did too!

Cyborg: Did not!

BB: Did too!

Raven: WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (as she says this, the ground begins to shake and Raven immediately begins to meditate and it stops) My emotions are very unstable at the moment, please don't make me mad.

Cyborg: Sorry.

BB: Yeah, sorry.

Cyborg: So, are we getting out the same way we did before?

Raven: There's something else in here that I didn't put in.

BB: What do you mean?

Raven: There's something else in my mirror that I've had no knowledge of being put in.

BB: ooooohhhhhhhhh............

Cyborg: So does that mean that we have more of a challenge?

Raven: I don't know what's in there. I'm—I—

Cyborg: You can say it Raven. We've seen your other sides, we know what stuff is in here.

Raven: I'm afraid of what's in there and I don't know how to handle it. There. I said it. Happy?

BB: Well, the only way we're getting out is through that path. So, I say we get started.

Raven: (looks at her feet, and then looks down the path) Fine. Let's go.

So, they set off down the path toward the first arch in the path.

Meanwhile, Starfire and Robin are sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the TV.

Starfire: Robin. Shouldn't our friends Cyborg and Beast Boy have already found Raven. We're all alone now.

Robin: What's wrong with us being alone?

Starfire: (blushes a little) Nothing. I—I—um......

Robin: (looks at Starfire, puts down the remote and holds her hand) Star, I'm sure they're fine. Don't you think we should have some "us time"?

Starfire: "Us time"? What exactly is "us time"? Is it a food?

Robin: No, it's this. (Robin leans over and gives Starfire a kiss. Not too rushed or forceful, but a slow, gentle, but very loving and passionate kiss. At first Starfire is a tad overwhelmed, but she gives in to the kiss and kisses Robin back.)

Starfire: I like "us time".

Robin: Me too.

Robin and Starfire kiss again, and unbeknownst to them, their friends are stuck in Raven's mirror. But hey, they are in love, so let's leave them to their quality time and go back to Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy.

Raven and the two boys have been walking down the path and they go through the first archway. A small breeze floated by them and they all shivered. Raven looked around and saw quite a few crows, but they were enormous in size and they had huge beaks. Raven grabbed Cyborg and Beast Boy's arm.

Raven: (whispers) Don't move.

Cyborg: (whispers) Why not?

Raven: (whispers) Because of the crows.

Beast Boy: (who is NOT whispering) Why are you guys whispering?

The crows cawed, revealing teeth (I am quite aware of the fact that birds do not have teeth, so just bear with me) and they took off into the air, circling around them, cawing.

Raven: (glaring at Beast Boy) _That's _why.

BB: Oh................oops. My bad.

Cyborg: Yes, very much your bad.

The crows circle around and suddenly, one of them swoops down, heading straight for Raven.

Raven: AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS! (a set of disks come flying out of her hands and blasts the crow)

More crows swoop down at Raven, she puts a shield up around Cyborg and Beast Boy, and tries to defend herself, but one comes from behind and hits her on the arm, the leg, and the face. Three more come down and start to peck at her, causing her to get weaker and weaker. Until finally she can't stand, gets knocked out, and she falls off the path.

Beast Boy: RAVEN!!!!!!!!!! (turns into an eagle and flies after Raven while Cyborg fights the crows off)

End Ch. 3

Well, I hope you guys liked it. I had to add Starfire and Robin romance, because they just make the perfect couple. So, I have a few questions for you:

Should I make Raven fall in love?

yes

no

If you said yes, with whom?

Beast Boy

Cyborg

Um.....no one?

Another character

If you chose D, for this question, you get to make the character! Every time you review, give me another detail for how you want him to be! So, choose carefully!

Okay, so yeah! Just answer those questions and keep checking in! Enjoy! Come back soon!


	4. Raven\'s Mind

The Secret Past of Raven

By iluvgwtw

Well, the result for my little poll on Raven's love life was: Drum roll please? BEAST BOY! But, that was kind of obvious wasn't it? Now, to answer some reviews:

Zako Lord of Randomnessness: I don't quite understand what you mean by your warning, so if you could explain that or at least elaborate............thanks!

Wild Spirit of Darkness2: Um.........I must really bug you because I haven't been doing anything you ask.........I'm really sorry, but I do have a plan for the whole relationship! I hope you won't be disappointed!

Afterdark: I'm so glad you like it! And uh.........I accept the award! Now, for my speech: I'd like to thank the academy, and afterdark for giving me this award. I'd like to thank myself for actually writing it (am I selfish? No! Of course not! Well...yes! I am! I happen to be a Leo! And Leo's are extremely selfish! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! .) And I'd like to thank my cast: (points to all the members of the fanfic).

Larissa: I'm glad you like it so much! I'm glad you're happy that I had your name in chapter 2....3..... I confused myself, I think this is what it is: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and this new one is Chapter 3. I'm gonna do this kind of thing, reply to all of your reviews. So, I'm glad you like it! .

RAE/BB GOOD: I know that's not your name right? So, uh...yeah! I'm glad you like it, and I am making it Raven and BB so...yeah! Enjoy!

Chapter 3—Raven's Mind

Starfire and Robin are sitting on the couch still. But, Robin is now back to flipping through channels, and Starfire's head is resting on his shoulder. But, it's been over 15 minutes since Cyborg and Beast Boy have gone into Raven's room and she's very worried.

Starfire: Robin? I'm worried about our friends. They have been gone for a long time. Shouldn't we go check on them?

Robin: Well, let's give them a few more minutes in case we interrupt something. I'm sure their fine Star.

Starfire: Well, if you say so.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy managed to catch Raven (HOORAH!!) and has brought her back on to the path. Cyborg managed to fight off the crows and they have flown off to their little crow lands.........

Beast Boy: (shaking Raven desperately) RAVEN! RAVEN! WAKE UP!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!

Cyborg: (trying to stop him) Man! She already looks like crap, don't make things worse!

Beast Boy: But, she needs to get up she—I—

Raven: (comes to and slaps Beast Boy) Get offa me! And stop shaking me!

Cyborg: Raven! . You're alive! You're all right! You're—

Raven: My legs are all cut up and I can't feel them. Which probably means I can't walk.

Cyborg: . oh......-.- lovely........so....where are we going to go?

Beast Boy: We could stay right here.

Cyborg: . Not you.

Raven: Stay here? And risk getting attacked by the crows again? I don't think so.

Cyborg: Well what are we going to do about your not being able to walk?

Raven: I'll levitate. That simple.

Beast Boy: Do you have enough energy? Are you going to be okay? Should one of us carry you?

Raven: I'm fine. Look: Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. (nothing happens for a few minutes, so she tries again....and still nothing happens) . agh!

Beast Boy: (picks Raven up) I don't care what you say, but it's obvious that you can't levitate, so we'll just take turns carrying you.

Raven: (sighs and allows herself to be carried by Beast Boy)

Meanwhile, Starfire and Robin are still sitting on the couch.

Starfire: I think we should go check on our friends now?

Robin: Yeah. Okay, let's go.

So, they finally go to Raven's room and see what's going on. Well, out of the mirror is a small whirlwind. Starfire and Robin look at each other in shock.

Starfire: What—is—

Robin: (he and Star walk closer) I—dunno.

They get sucked into the mirror as well, so now I don't have to keep going back and forth between worlds! Yay! . Anyway, so Starfire and Robin are now stuck with Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy!

Beast Boy: Robin! Star! It's about time!

Raven: Frankly, it would've been better if none of you had come.

Robin: (sarcastically) Well, you're very welcome!

Starfire: Why are you welcome?

Cyborg: Never mind Star. Just—forget it.

Raven: (notices more crows starting to come back) Um, I'm gonna say we should probably be leaving now.

Cyborg: (sees the crows) Oh, yes. Let's go.

Beast Boy: But where are we going?

Raven: (looks around and notices a small cave) (points) There.

Starfire: Okay. Let us go.

So, they all trek over to the cave and get in there, and sit and wait for Raven to feel better so they can continue the journey through Raven's mind.

END CH. 3

Sorry this is so short, but I couldn't think of what else to put.........I'll try to think of something and update soon and make it longer. This is not the best chapter I must admit. Sorry, I'll make the next one longer promise!


	5. The Journey Starts

The Secret Past of Raven

By iluvgwtw

Ok. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been busy and kind of mind-blocked for ideas. So this chapter may not be the best yet. Sorry! Ok: to answer a few reviews:

DarkPheonix: Sorry, but Raven and Beast Boy won. Um...however, to make it up to you, you can still think of another character if you like. Let me know!

Rebecca: Don't worry, Raven and BB it is!

EnuiKouga: Thanks! I'm glad you like it! Keep reading!

Psychokinesis: um....I wasn't really asking the question.........so...yeah. But, okay. That does make sense though. Thanks for reviewing.

Larissa: I'll talk to you soon!

Chapter 4—The Journey Starts

Raven's mind was acting to its own accord. Whatever was inside it, was slowly taking control. While Raven became weaker and weaker.

Starfire: I am—afraid. What is happening to Raven? Is our friend all right?

Robin: It's ok. We'll be fine.

Raven: I'm fine. We need to get moving. I need to defeat this thing. And I need to get you out of here.

They cautiously started down the path again. They saw the crows circling over them. Starfire latched on to Robin's arm, as Raven stumbled along into Beast Boy.

BB: You need help?

Raven: I'm fine. (walks ahead)

BB: (hurries to catch up with her) You know, it's okay to admit when you need help.

Raven: I already did.

BB: When? I don't remember you saying something like that. Look, I'm your friend and I'm here to help. And I want to help you. Please.

Raven: Look. My emotions will get in the way. I can handle it. I am fine.

They walk through another archway and are in a meadow of flowers. (YEA! . HAPPINESS! Or so we think....) Raven and the group continue on the pathway, when a figure appears on the path ahead of them. Raven stops and holds out a hand to stop the rest of them.

Cyborg: (whispers) What is it?

Raven: I'm not sure. Stay here. I'll go see.

BB: You are in no condition to go alone. What if—he—she—it attacks you?!

Raven: I'll be FINE! Just leave me alone. (Walks towards the person) Who are you? What do you want?

Person: (silence)

Raven: Are you the person who's trying to take over?

Person: (silence)

Raven: What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?

Person: (looks up to reveal a woman, clad in black, and looking very much dead and sorrowful) I—want—YOU! (Lunges for Raven)

Raven: Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos! (Creates a shield that sends the woman flying. The woman stops in mid air and turns into a humongous crow that comes straight towards Raven)

Beast Boy turns into a pterodactyl and fights the crow, but the crow just disappears. He lands and Raven continues to walk, not saying anything.

Beast Boy: (to Cyborg) Not even a thank you?

Cyborg: Hey, chill. She's going through a hard time. Give her a break.

Robin: Maybe we should just keep going and—

Raven: You guys need to go ahead.

Starfire: What do you mean?

Raven: I mean you all go to the exit, and I stay here and fight whatever's here.

Beast Boy: You're joking right?

Cyborg: We're not going to leave you here!

Robin: You can't fight this thing alone.

Starfire: We are your friends. Friends stick together!

Raven: No. I need to fight this thing alone. It's between me and whatever's here.

Beast Boy: We're staying.

Cyborg: There's nothing you can say to make us change our minds.

Robin: Or anything you could do.

Starfire: We will stay with you! You are our friend! (hugs Raven)

Raven: (shivers at the emotions) Fine. I'll let you stay, but if something else happens that puts you in danger, you leave. Understand?

Everyone else: (nods)

End Chapter 4

My god that was short. So, so, so short. I'm sorry. I had no idea what to do. It...it...I will make the next one longer! I promise! I'm so sorry. This was just, so, so, pathetic. I'm sorry! (Bows many times over) I'm sorry! (Bows) I'm sorry (bows) I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow) Please review though.


	6. Denial

The Secret Past of Raven

By IvyCatGirl

All right. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been somewhat mind-blocked and haven't been able to sit down and just write. So, finally I'm over that. After much waiting on your part, I present to you Chapter 5 of The Secret Past of Raven! And now I definitely know where I'm going with this! So. Here you go. I'll try and update more often! Again, I'm really sorry!

Chapter 5—Denial

As the other Titans lay sleeping, Raven and Beast Boy were wide awake. They sat together, a little ways off from the others. For the moment, Raven's mind was calm—but for how long? Raven wished with all her heart that the others hadn't come in.

Raven: Why did you come after me?

Beast Boy: Well…uh…we were worried about you I guess…we're your friends. That's the main reason.

Raven: You didn't have to come after me. I can handle this myself.

Beast Boy: So, when you were knocked out and fell off the path you were taking care of it?

Raven: Ok. I get it. But you still didn't have to come check up on me.

Beast Boy: Maybe we wanted to. Ever think about that? We care about you. We worry about you. We look after you as best we can. You don't notice it though. You never notice anything anymore…

Raven: I notice. I notice a lot of things you guys do for me. I just don't acknowledge them as I should.

Beast Boy: You know Rae…you don't have to hide your feelings. Especially from us.

Raven: I do Beast Boy. I do have to hide my feelings, but it's not just from you guys—it's from everybody. It's not a choice. I have to. You wouldn't understand.

Beast Boy: Try me.

Raven: I want to let my feelings out. Especially to you…see, I care about you guys…and…I…

What was Raven doing? She was spilling everything to Beast Boy! Why? What if this made her mind start to act up…especially if she told him that she…Raven sighed and looked away from Beast Boy, a strange feeling coming over her. What was wrong with her? Why did she suddenly feel so strange? It was nice sitting next to Beast Boy. She always liked Beast Boy. She always looked after him…even if she brushed it off and made a nasty comment to him. She was always making nasty comments to him. Why? She liked Beast Boy, he was her friend, and she shouldn't be putting him down. Why was she? It dawned on her. The thing she had been denying all this time. She liked him…more than just a friend. She was denying it to protect herself—and him. Protect herself from what? From her emotions…she couldn't let the emotions get in the way. Beast Boy's voice shattered her thoughts.

Beast Boy: Raven? Are you okay? What's wrong?

Raven: I—I'm—fine. Just fine.

Raven stuttered, she got up and shakily made her way back over to the little camp they had made and sat, staring at the embers that were once a fire. Beast Boy stood up, walked over, and sat once more next to her.

Beast Boy: You _sure_ you're all right? Nothing you want to talk about?

Raven: I—I—

She couldn't think of words. She stared into Beast Boy's eyes and felt as though she was drowning. The emotions swept over her with such ferocity that she felt like screaming, crying, laughing, shouting, all at the same time. All she could do was sit there as a few tears slowly inched down her cheek, followed by another, and another, and another until it was a waterfall of tears as she put her head on her knees and sobbed. She felt Beast Boy's arms around her in a comforting hug and she welcomed it. She welcomed all of the pain and sadness. She welcomed the laughter and joy. She welcomed the love and heartache. She welcomed the anger and humiliation. She welcomed everything--and her mind went crazy. The ground started to shake violently, and things fell from above them. The others woke up with a start and Raven's head shot up as she opened her mouth and screamed, "RUN!" They ran like hell. Raven realized that the only way she could stop it was to calm down. But she couldn't, the tears still came. And all the emotions whirled about her in a frenzy that wouldn't cease. Her mind started to cave in. And she felt a physical pain go tearing through her body. She let out a cry and collapsed on the ground.

Robin: RAVEN!

Raven: Keep going. I'm fine. Go!

Robin hesitated as Starfire and Cyborg looked nervously about and Beast Boy started to pick Raven up.

Raven: Just go! Don't worry about me.

The pain tore through her body again. All she could do was point towards the exit and Robin, Starfire and Cyborg regrettably did as Raven had told them to. Beast Boy refused to leave, he picked her up, against Raven's wishes and started to carry her after them. Raven fought.

Raven: No, put me down. I'm what it wants. Just let it have me.

Beast Boy: I'm not going to leave you alone. If you stay, I stay.

Raven gave up. She didn't want to loose Beast Boy, but at the moment she really had no choice but to allow herself to become a puppet. So she allowed herself to be carried like a rag doll further up the path. And the pain seared through her again. This time she doubled over and Beast Boy had to stop. She lay there wondering how she would get out of this one. She closed her eyes as the tears gushed out again. In her mind she chanted: Azarath Metrion Zinthos. The shaking eased up, but it wouldn't stop. Then she heard a voice calling her name. Her eyes flew open as she looked in front of her. Standing there was a woman, draped in a cloak with glowing eyes. Raven attempted to stand, but didn't have the strength to.

Raven: Who are you?

Woman: Raven, don't you know me?

Raven: No, I'm sure I would know if I had put you here.

Woman: But, don't you see. You _have_ put me here. I've been here since you were born. I'm the one giving you power.

Raven: Nothing has ever given me power. I don't remember you at all. How could you have been here when I don't remember you?

Woman: You can't remember yourself as a baby.

Raven: Yes, I do. I grew up with foster parents. My mother died when I was first born and my father was nowhere to be found.

Woman: How did your mother die?

Raven paused at that one. Then she started to wonder why the hell she was having this conversation with this strange woman. Why didn't she just blast her? "Because I don't have enough strength", a voice said. "But I have enough strength to unleash on her", another voice countered. Raven thought it over as the woman stepped closer. Raven realized that for once she had no will to do anything but lay there, on the ground, completely helpless. She had always been able to think up some sort of plan or way out in a matter of minutes. But this time, she couldn't. Her mind was completely numb. The pain that was coursing through her, all of the emotions whirling around. She couldn't think straight. Raven realized that her breathing was becoming shallower as the woman took more and more steps closer. She felt the pain again. And the woman chuckled a bit. It sounded vaguely familiar. But she still couldn't think straight.

------

Robin and the others paused, staring behind them. Seeing a woman standing over Raven and Beast Boy. Raven on the ground, for once not being able to get out of the situation. And Beast Boy—just frozen. Unsure of what to do. Of what he _should_ do. Standing there. Not thinking. Just as Raven was doing. Robin hesitated, what was he supposed to do? Should he go back and help them? Or should he do as Raven had insisted and leave? Starfire looked at Raven and then at Robin.

Starfire: Our friend is…in pain.

Cyborg: We need to do something.

Robin: What can we do? If Raven can't do anything, what good are we?

Cyborg: Raven isn't always right you know.

Robin: She's usually right though. She's usually able to get out of something like this!

Cyborg: She's in a delicate state right now! She said so herself: her emotions are unstable.

Starfire: Please, friends, do not fight!

Robin sighed. Star was right; fighting was going to get them anywhere. They stood watching, as the woman surrounded both Raven and Beast Boy in a black ball. Starfire let out a cry, alerting the woman of where they were standing. She smiled and raised a hand, and sent out a power similar to Raven's power, sending them through the portal, and back out into Raven's room.

------

Raven felt as though she was suffocating in the darkness. This was an inhuman darkness. A darkness she wasn't used to. It was overpowering and she felt the breath slowly start to leave her body. No! She screamed in her head. She wasn't going to die here. Not in _this_ coffin. There was no way that she was going to leave behind her friends who had become her family. She had no one else, and she wasn't going to loose them. She felt her body being propelled backwards, and then down. She wasn't sure where she was going, but the farther she went, the more air and life she felt being taken away. Raven kept going farther and farther away from the life that she so desperately wanted to hang onto. She felt light-headed as she descended into what she assumed was to become her tomb. The only ray of hope she saw was someone that looked like someone she knew… Beast Boy? But everything went to the darkness and blackness she knew and welcomed.

------

_Someone whispered her name… and she was jolted awake. She didn't know where she was, but she didn't stop to look around. She just ran. There was a door at the end of the hallway, and with each step it seemed as though it got farther and farther away. She reached her arms out towards it and grabbed onto the door handle as the floor came out from under her feet. She opened the door and there stood the only person she ever loved. She ran towards him, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes, when a woman came out of nowhere and the sound of a gun firing rang through her ears. She felt the pain, even though the bullet was not for her. It was for him. And he was dead. The pain was still there, in her heart and she could feel herself collapse, screaming, crying, yet no sound came out. And the sound of the gun still rang through her ears. And she saw the face of the woman. It was her own face. She saw herself in the woman. The screams came into focus and rang along with the sound of the gun as she felt her body twist and contort in pain and torture. And then silence and the pounding of her heart, the deep breathing as she ran down the hallway, towards the door. She grabbed the doorknob and the floor slid out from under her. She twisted the doorknob and the opened the door…_

End Chapter 5

Well, I know it seems kind of weird and confusing, but I definitely am going somewhere with this, so just keep that in mind. I hope this was a good chapter. Please read and review! I would like at least TWO reviews before I put up another chapter, okay? Thank you!


	7. Coma

The Secret Past of Raven

By DarkNightangale

Ok, I apologize profusely for completely ignoring this! I've just been really busy, see first there was school and finals and then I had to work and now I'm in summer school. And on top of that I'm dealing with some shit of my own so I haven't exactly been sitting down and writing everything down. I seem to have forgotten where I was going with this so it's going to take me a while to get everything back in order. These next few chapters are probably not going to be the best and may seem a tad weak. Well…really weak. So, please forgive me.

Chapter 6—Coma

The Titans stood over Raven's body. They had all been blown back into Raven's room and it had taken them a while to get their bearings back. And just as they had Raven herself and flown out of the mirror and into the room with them. The only problem was…she wasn't waking up.

"No!" Beast Boy cried, "No! Raven! Wake up! Wake up!"

He shook her so violently that Star and Robin had to tear him off of her. Beast Boy was crying and finally stormed out of the room and into his own. The others put her in the medical room and tried to figure out what was wrong. She wasn't healing herself like she usually did. Her body was just…there. They hooked her up to machines and it detected a heartbeat. A faint one, but it was there. Her breathing was short and shallow.

Raven was dying.

They didn't quite know how to break the news to Beast Boy, but they didn't want him to have false hopes that she would get better when they really had no idea if she would. So, they decided to keep quiet for now and simply told him that they had no idea how she was, but for now she seemed ok. Just out of it.

Beast Boy didn't believe it. He knew there was something wrong. There was something so wrong with Raven. She wasn't healing herself. He could read the charts and machine screens. The girl he loved, the _**only**_ girl he had ever loved was dying. And it was tearing him apart. He didn't want to believe it. He refused to believe it. There was just no way that he could accept it.

He went into Raven's room one day and saw the mirror still lying on the floor where it had been left. He picked it up and peered into it. All he saw was himself. He wasn't quite sure what he had expected to see, he was hoping to see Raven he guessed. Not likely. He put the mirror on the dresser. It went down with a little more force than was needed, shaking the dresser a bit. Beast Boy slumped down on the bed. He couldn't save Raven and he felt so helpless because of it. He also felt so hopeless because of it.

Raven started to come to. Everything was so black. So suffocating. She looked around but all she saw was darkness. Everywhere. This darkness she did not like. She felt lost. What was going on? Where was she? How did she get here? The questions flooded her mind and she started feeling a sinking feeling in her heart. A voice called her name. Faintly at first, but louder each time it was called. Almost as though the voice was getting closer to her. She was tempted to call out in return, but thought better of it, considering she had no idea where she was or who she could be with. Suddenly she saw a small ray of light. Flashing brightly. She stood up and even though she couldn't see where she was going, she went in the direction the light was. She kept following it, spreading her hands out to the sides and feeling a wall. Then she hit something with her foot. She bit back yells of pain as she realized she had just stubbed her toe on a stair. Raven slowly made her way up the stairs, feeling her way toward the light. She reached it and realized that it was a window. She peered out cautiously and immediately gasped and backed into the cold, stone wall, that she could now see. After she pulled herself together again, she slowly crept over and peered out again.

What Raven saw were her friends: Star, Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy…and…herself.

Everything became crystal clear. Her body was out there. In the real world. And her spirit, her real person, was stuck in…God knows where. And her body was dying. Fast.

"Well…this _is_ a problem." Raven thought.

If she didn't figure out how to get herself back into her body, her body would die, and she would remain a spirit, wandering around in this dark place only being able to look at her friends—her family—and never be able to be with them in person again. She had to work fast, the charts did not look favorable and now it was a race against time. And a race against time is never a fair one.

For now her body was in a coma. And it would never come out of it until she managed to get back in there. Raven sighed, frustrated. She backed away and slunk down on the floor, letting the coldness of the stone calm her down. She suddenly realized how exhausted she was. She leaned her head back and her eyes s…l…o…w…l…y…started to close. Until she slept.

As both the spirit Raven and the body Raven slept, the other Titans were also in a race against time, trying to figure out what was wrong with Raven and how to fix it.

End Chapter 6

Ok…so rather weak and short, but I'm actually somewhat proud of this chapter even if it isn't my best. So, I apologize again for this delay. But, I promise I'll try to write more sooner. I'll be gone this weekend because I'm going to San Diego but I'll try hard to write some every day. Please bear with me. You have been so patient so far. And I'm sooooo sorry for the delay.


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